In today's C3 Church message, both Pastors Matt and Martha Fry take questions directly from the audience on building a real relationship.
Question: Should I break up with my boyfriend if he isn't actively involved with God or Church?
Answer: Yes! Martha explains that those who are saved and in Church are aligned with the Lord, but the other nonbeliever will only get more selfish. Remember, you can never change your partner.
Question: What advice for families where they all attend church together, but the wife is more of a spiritual leader and she wants her husband to lead?
Remember, none of us are perfect. There may be things that you need to deal with. Allow the Holy Spirit to work on your behalf. Back off, pray, and watch God do the rest.
Question: If a man has a sexual point of no return, is the man responsible for his own purity.
Answer: Yes! Men are 100% responsible for their own purity. Remember, dating is about learning more of the other person. It's not about testing the physical stuff. Don't awaking love before it's time. Matt adds the law diminishing returns to the conversation. It's where you always want more. The only way to stop something that's going fast is to crash.
Women use sex to get love while men use love to get sex.
Go back to the concept of waiting for sex after marriage.
What do you do when it's too late for purity?
In God's eyes, he is making you a new creature. So, while you cannot go back and change anything, you can change right now.
Martha talks about a couple that are two weeks away from marriage and who are living together. She asked that they make the change to do it right NOW. Start today.
Question: How do couples communicate as husbands and wives?
Answer: Matt says that couples should communicate honestly. We should stop telling lies and be honest. Don't avoid subjects but handle those issues quickly. Don't let the sun go down before handling things. If you ignore an issue then it becomes a footstool for the Devil.
Question: As a Christian dating a Christian, what is the best way to break off a relationship?
Answer: Dating doesn't mean you're together forever, that's marriage. Just because they are a Christian doesn't mean they are the right one for you. You might have a broken heart, but it's not the same as one who has lived together or had sexual contact.
Just break up!
Question: If a man or woman doesn't have sex with each other, but pleasures oneself, is that still a sign of purity?
Answer: Martha says that masterbation is a selfish thing. Marriages are giving and not one to withhold from your spouse. Part of being intimate in marriage is talking about your sex life. The Bible says that we should live for the other person and not be stingy.
Matt tries to answer the question by stating the Law of Diminishing Return. Men don't always think with their heads. Learn to draw the line WAY before a physical relationship.
Question: If we are living together and totally committed, is this ok?
Answer: Martha says that you're not totally committed until there is a ring on the finger. Matt says that marriage is a covenant, but that is a contract.
Question: My husband is addicted to pornography and has been through treatment. When is enough enough?
Answer: If you are addicted to pornography then there is a void that cannot be filled. This can tear a relationship apart. Matt says to invite him to join C3 Warriors. Every guy struggles with the thought life (sexual thoughts) and he needs to get together with other guys to hold one accountable.
Martha says that the marriage bed needs to stay pure. Marriage doesn't need a third person (person in the video or image). Try counseling.
Question: The Bible says that God hates divorce. I'm divorced but want to get remarried.
Answer: Martha says that if you study the Bible as a whole, the big thing is that God is a God of second chances. Stay pure. Date the right way and do it right.
Question: What advice is there for someone with a homosexual relative?
Answer: Love them like Jesus would love them. While God believes homosexuality is a sin, he also says that fornication is a sin. Remember, we must love them, pray for them, and join C3 Church to find people who can also love them.
Martha says that any relationship that is not following God's plan is going to have poor results. Remember, just love them, pray for them, and give God room to do his work.
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)
Final Points To Remember
- Believe the Best - Just as God believes the best in you, so you should do the same for your couple
- Walk in Forgiveness - Forgive anyone that offends you. When we hold a grudge, it harms us. Own up to your 1% and ask for forgiveness.
- Clothe Yourself in Love
Do You Need A Fresh Start?
If you need hope or help. God wants you to know that he loves you. Jesus died and rose from the grave. If you would like to know Jesus as your savior then pray this prayer.
Dear God, I realize I've sinned and I need you. Thank you for dying on the cross and rising from the grave. Come in to my heart and save me. Thank you for giving me eternal and abundant life. Help me to live for you, for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name. Amen.
To share your story, want more information about next steps, or just in need of prayer, please contact Pastor Matt Fry.